Having It All

Having It All

The thermostat went up around here.  I feel the heat.  The back of my neck sweats, but my smile is thicker than the air.  The Wall Street Journal highlighted me as a FIT MOM.  As an active, athletic woman, I run around in my workout gear and manage a household while balancing a busy schedule of children.  Yeah me.

However, it became very obvious when the WSJ comments rolled in regarding global opinions on the Fit Mom, that not everyone likes her.  She is some how very wealthily, she is obsessive, she spends on trendy gear and has nannies and house keepers.  I slowly began to laugh…..loudly.

People will always hate you for what you do- especially if you are good at what you do.  They want to know that there is some fault to your tick that makes your tock worth a knock.  I find that the female/mother/success “hit” is especially heated.  After all, we haven’t even been allowed to vote for all that long.  However, women scratch the glass ceiling as much as we polish it.  We are our own enemy.  We are our own ally.  Don’t even get me started on body image and plastic surgery.  The comments already began that trend, but failed to noticed healthy, balanced real women raising healthy balanced real children.

I am an educated woman holding an advanced degree in nursing.  I specialized in Women’s Health at Yale University.  I worked in New York City full time and there I gave birth to my first child.  I lived in a 400 square foot apartment shared with my husband.  I ran and have run every day that I have been able since I was born.  I have had every injury you can name.  I have run through pregnancy and listened to the criticism there.  I have run with a stroller.  I have run with a stroller in the rain and in the snow.  I have run while singing Old McDonald and passing out Cheerios.  I have left my child with a baby sitter while I went back to full time work.  I have made a choice, an educated choice to be there for my children.  In everything I do, I do it to 100% and I am far from perfect.  I am human.  But doing human things- like working, running, living, birthing, mothering, cooking, tasting, and loving is a lot better than watching human things like television.  I do not watch any television.  How many hours a day do you waste watching television?

Don’t hate me because I wake up at 4:45am and run 10 miles before my family even wakes up.  There are reasons women seem to not be able to have it all.

Some perceive women to never be smart enough, thin enough, engaging enough, mothering enough, mothering too much, shopping too much, not shopping enough, obsessed over cooking, not cooking, not caring, over caring, over analyzing, over pursuing, under achieving, over achieving, type A, type B, if you’re type O you better have donated blood, single enough, married enough, married too much, lifted, tucked, plucked, sucked, and if not, fat, drab and had.  We are a judged species.  To that I say, you will never please everyone.  You will rarely please anyone.  But, if by luck and gut you are true to yourself- you will live a happy life.  And isn’t that the point?  The pursuit of happiness?

I have spent nights on a hospital floor attending to the sick.  I was a first responder to 9/11.  I worked as a nurse in our prison system.  I birthed a kid in NYC and then had to walk home from the hospital.  Nothing has ever been the same in my life since that day.  Everyone can be what they want to be- you just have to want it and 9 times out of 10 work damn hard for it.  I teach my children that.  I teach my clients that.

The conversation continues today.  Here’s what Elizabeth had to say on The Juggle.

 

      
Plugin by: PHP Freelancer

22 Responses to “Having It All”

  • This post was awesome!! I read the WSJ article and was totally inspired by the “fit mamas”. Then I found out Laura from “mommy run fast” was quoted in it, which led me to your blog.

    Ive been a runner for 15 years and have always been passionate about sports and fitness. Im doing my best to keep running and athletics in my life, especially As a mom. And I admire anyone who can do it well, because we all know that it is far from easy.

    As for the negative comments, it’s hard to win as a mom these days. You’re right that people are always criticizing us no matter what choices we make. You have a great attitude and I appreciate your honesty.
    Thanks for being so inspiring – ill be adding your blog site to my list.

  • Great post and very inspiring. For too long I used kids work and everything else as excuse as to why I couldn’t train. Finally I realised I was the excuse and started getting up at 5am to run. A year later I’m fit, racing again and have lost weight. I’m going to keep this link handy to pass onto mums who say they have no time to exercise.

  • Mary:

    LOVE this, girl:)))) major congrats on WSJ. I have 2 daughters and just today had a great conversation with them about where real, true happiness is found…within each of them, to make a long story short. Anywho, this post is so right on!!! Okay, why did you have to walk home from the hospital? I was thinking it had to do with 9/11, but then I didn’t think you sweet babies were old enough…

    • Drea:

      I walked home because NY cabs drive like crazy guys and I was mother hen protective of my first born baby boy. So I walked- really slow!!

  • David:

    I read this blog because you have a terrific sarcastic wit and a fun writing style. But I’ll be forwarding a link to this post to my closest women friends because I hope everyday that they hear this kind of message instead of the usual. Well done, ma’am – the writing and the living.

  • Rain:

    Love your stance on this…and you are right. People will find faults with anyone…for any number of things.

    As long as your happy, who the f cares really….let people judge or think what they want because they will regardless.

    And heck your article got people talking, thinking…maybe, just maybe it touched some nerves. Oh and you know how people hate that! :)

    I love what your husband says in retort! Tell him I said it was perfect!

  • So I finally read through the WSJ comments and they are HILARIOUS. I love haterz. They always say the darndest things.

    Always have to have a sense of humor when putting yourself out there. Haterz view people in the public eye as targets for their vitriol. At least you inspired a reaction!

  • You are spot on with this! So glad you are holding your head up high.

    Do you think everyone would be on the hate train if the article was about a man? Probably not. He would be applauded as someone who is taking care of himself and setting a good example for his family.

    I’m glad I was a part of the article not only because it showed that women/moms can be fit but because I was introduced to you. I’d love to be your running buddy any day! :)

  • Kate Elliott:

    Love this post. It’s mostly judgmental people who saw this article and assumed the athletic woman (you) was handed a deck of cards full of ease (and $$) for her life. I think that in their own lives they have a hard time juggling it all, and think if only this, or only that, and THEN I would be able to exercise more, lead a healthier lifestyle, etc. Some people are so quick to jump to conclusions.
    Your love for health (and life!) is contagious to all who know you! Thanks for that! The world could use a lot more moms like you!!

  • Jen:

    Amazing post. This is the first post of yours I have read, and I will definitely be reading more from here on out. I have taken one of your classes at Fit Buddha, and I worked at lululemon, knowing you were an ambassador, but to hear your story…inspiring to say the least. I think it’s so important to take care of yourself. So many people rely on others to take care of them, for their loved ones to show love by caring for them…however, really we should be taking care of OURSELF for THEM…and they should care for themselves, for us. Should we not?

    Amazing post. Thank you for being an inspiration for women that it IS possible to do it all. You children are watching you all the time…they are learning that you are not only a mom (and what a gift of a job THAT is!), a health coach for others, a business woman…but also an athlete… we are multi-facetted human beings. That is such a gift to give your children…that knowledge that we can be MORE.

  • I agree with what Kimberly said about TV too. Christian and I share time and talk about a show, that is our time together when we are home. Nowadays a lot of shows are like watching a movie together, or reading a book and then talking about it.

    Oscar Wilde said: ‘The only worse thing about being talked about is NOT being talked about’ ;)

    I guess with fame comes criticism…

  • Kimberly:

    Drea-great blog. Nice post. I differ with you on one point, and maybe I wouldn’t if I had children, but I don’t (another personal choice). I do watch tv, most always with my partner, and I do not consider it wasting time. We talk, we laugh, we watch other people suffer (we’ve been addicted to the tour de France for the last three weeks), we enjoy being together. For me, tv is relaxing, and sometimes, after a brain-heavy day, I need to relax. And that is after a run or a ride or bathing a dog (or three). It is all about personal choice and doing what keeps each of us sane and happy and fulfilled. You have figured that out, and I am happy you’re willing to share your secrets!!

    • Drea:

      Absolutely. It is all about choice. For me- I can’t get everything done if I spend time with the Television (minus the tour or the Olympics!). I think that is the kid factor- plus the commercials are terrible for their little minds in my opinion ;)

      • Kimberly Turner:

        Yeah–we don’t watch the commercials. We DVR everything :-) ! Occasionally we have to watch a commercial, and then we just make fun of it. My boyfriend’s kids are grown, so the kid thing is not an issue for us, and I have great grown kids to enjoy when they come visit, or when we vacation together :-) .

  • Jana:

    Now, this need to go in the Wall Street Journal! This is your BEST blog ever, Drea. Thank you. Hold that head high!

  • Matt:

    Drea – you da bomb!!! Remember, for every negative post, you’ve inspired a multiple of others. Congratulations on the GREAT press today. Love it!!!

Leave a Reply

Archives
Because .... You run for you, against you, but surrounded by friends.