No Punch Backs!
I now drive around in a constant state of anxiety. I am starting to feel it in my jaw. My children are not the bickering type. They usually get along fairly well, share their toys, and yes, days still go by with whining and a few explosive tears, but that’s just normal childhood. I am not assuming the mellow drama fades anytime soon.
However, now we have an official…..and yes there are OFFICIAL RULES…..Punch Buggy game going on. The back seat competition is hot! The scoring is stone cut and the tears are volatile. Think tears of the last cookie on Earth just got eaten verses the tears of vaccines. The contestants? Of course. My children.
“PUNCH BUGGY YELLOW!!! NO PUNCH BACKS!!!” explodes the screams of one soon to be Kindergartener darling girl.
“That’s a PT Cruiser,” mediates Mom.
POP!
“Ow! You can’t hit me!”
“Yes I can!”
“PUNCH BUGGY TAN!!!! NO PUNCH BACKS!!!!” the boy laughs and then did I hear that right???? Oh yes, “BOO-YA!” And yes, we got cable to watch the Olympics so we started with The Stanley Cup, rolled into World Cup Soccer, and now even though we are on pause waiting for the opening ceremony, he beams in a cool announcer voice, “Michelob Light, a refreshing beer.”
“Say WHAT?” Mom slams on breaks and son makes a rapid machine gun firing sound from his mouth.
“DON’T SPIT ON ME!” the girl is not amused, but then….”PUNCH BUGGY RED!!!! NO PUNCH BACKS!!!”
“That’s a Porsche,” Mom is still thinking about beer and guns. Argh.
“Well I got 14.”
“No you didn’t.”
“PUNCH BUGGY BLUE!!!!!! NO PUNCH BACKS!!!!”
“NO FAIR! I called that one!”
It continues on and on. I clutch the steering wheel with eyes shifting right and left. No texting while driving? Fine! I think we should also make a rule about No Punch Buggy-ing. I don’t want to be too distracted from the road, but I literally never get a…..
“PUNCH BUGGY SILVER!!! NO PUNCH BACKS!” explodes Mom.
“Finally!” the boy huffs, “But I got like 20.”
“Well, I got one,” I defend my punch, but feel a pop in the back of the head, “OW!”
“You didn’t punch me, so now it’s mine!”
“I can’t punch you! I’m driving!”
“Yes you can, just reach around and hit me.”
BLINK BLINK. Did my son just tell his mother to reach around while driving and punch him? No officer, I swear I was not texting while driving. I was playing the very legal game of Punch Buggy and yes my son demanded that I follow the rules which entailed me back popping him one while I still maintained control of my vehicle with my left hand. Yes I grew up in Texas. Why do you ask?
No wonder women are terrible drivers! We have children in the car.
5 Responses to “No Punch Backs!”
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I think I have heard the identical exchange coming from the backseat of my car many times…and tears are always in the mix as some point. My kids also play “baywatch,” which is simply screaming out the word BAYWATCH any time one sees a yellow vehicle of any kind…no punching is required. I don’t really see what’s so fun about that game, especially since arguments constantly erupt over what constitutes the color yellow. Apparently there are many shades of yellow that look quite orange or red.
You threw me there with the yellow cars. I was totally thinking Baywatch spotting game was gonna be something else!!!!! Ha ha!
LOL! Hilar!!
Ours was Slug Bug. Must be a 3rd grade rite of passage. My arm is still numb
http://www.fox11online.com/dpps/sports/super_bowl/2010-super-bowl-commercial-volkswagen-slug-bug-jgr_3225147
Ha! I can totally picture this. And you should have reached around and “punched” him while you had the chance!
(TOTALLY kidding!)
MY daughter always wants me to grab something she has dropped on ground. As I am reaching around one eye on road hands groping the ground searching for what she dropped while she is directing me..any way you get the point…it’s WAY more distracting and dangerous than texting! Kids!
By the way you can buy that Rumble Roller online, I think I saw it cheapest on Amazon. You will love it!