Tuesday mornings have me looping grass down at the waterfront.  I start when it’s dark.  This tends to help with the boredom of grass loops.  All of a sudden I can SEE and it’s like WOW and it’s like EXCITING.  Genius!  The run is half done before the sun indicates exactly how small this loop actually is.  Let us see, today being Tuesday, found me looping around transitioning from bat running to day running whilst the sun crept her lazy red ass up into the heavens.  Eventually, the sun was up and my miles were done.  I turned to run strides down the grass back to the beacon called mini van.

Number 1- pop.  Heavy breathing- hands on hips- blow the snot I GOT A LOT!   Number 2- pop.  Heavy breathing- hands on hips- blow the snot YES, I am sick AGAIN!  Number 3- pop….and then I became keenly aware of a medium mass edging on to my right shoulder.  My eyes flit right to scrutinize exactly what is going on.  My strides are like a hard short sprint so what is this basketball short boy doing?  AHMUYGAWD!  He is!

B-Ball bro is out for an early morning jog along the concrete.  He’s put on his favorite fraternity cotton T-shirt YES! FROM TEXAS! DUH! and plugged his iPod into his thick skull.  Then when he spots girl running on green, he decides to race.

Hey, Yee-Haw Yuppie, if you are riding a High Horse, it’s only because it’s been smoking the GRASS that I’m running on!  Who does that?

Did I beat him?

OF COURSE!  Look, I’m eating nothing but humble pie for a month after next weekend so let me eat the heart of an idiot for the moment.  Oh wait, you are what you eat.  Damn it!

When the stride is done, he jogs on along the concrete at his eleven minute mile pace.  What exactly has he just tried to impress?  His baby book fat tucked up under his UT cotton?  Shall I finish this stride with heavy breathing and hands on hips to Ooooh and Ahhhh at his weighted foot fall and red light bravado?  Do you drive like you run?  Go ask your Mama for the keys and we’ll find out.

Actually men, let’s go ask your Mama a few things.  Guess what studs?  You got your fast twitch, slow twitch or lack there of any twitch from the old…um, Mama.

From Anatomy of Runners

Since you can’t realistically change your dominant fiber type, don’t stress. Instead, tailor your individual training towards optimizing the properties of your fiber types for the events in which you compete. For those wanting to know exactly what percentage of fiber types you have, it is possible, but it’s painful. If you REALLY want to know, you can get a muscle biopsy. A nice scientist essentially takes a core sample of your belly and then sends it off to the lab for analysis. But in all honesty, what would this really tell you? You can’t change it….

Oh, one more thing….. Women – you are in control here. That’s right- the genetic code regulating your mitochondria (ability to use oxygen) is based on YOUR MOTHER’S DNA, not your proud Poppa’s. So Dad, little junior or junior-ette won’t care if you got a medal in the Olympics. Your biggest challenge is making sure that Mom got one.

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