As I sniffled and wheezed through my week, I found myself at the end of it feeling rather thankful and satisfied. Thankful and satisfied! You don’t say? On a cloudy grey day, I pushed my cart around the grocery selecting produce to drop into a soup. I picked up a quick lunch as well and sat to eat it. A friend of mine had also grabbed a bite and asked to join me. We sat first discussing the weather and the little whatevers that two people who are only lightly acquainted do, but suddenly the conversation just changed. He began to tell me enjoy everyday. Just enjoy everyday. Be thankful for every moment. Don’t look back. Don’t overly look forward. Do not sacrifice the thankfulness of the here and now.
I stiffly swallowed a yellow beet smothered in cottage cheese and set my brown eyes deep into his blue ones. I am not exactly sure why my friend felt compelled to tell me these exact words, but whatever force pushed his words out with a serene wave, flushed my being in warmth. I smiled and thought Ya Know I’m REALLY Doing this WELL lately. I hear ya!
My veggies and I went home. While I cooked, I came across the story of Debbie Heald. Before I knew it, I was sobbing over the soup. Debbie’s troubled youth rose in one glorious magnificent mile before Schizophrenia later dragged her back down. I watched the performance of an outstanding woman who knew not yet her future and seemed to run like Hell from her past. She was fantastic! She’d probably be pissed at me for crying over her. But I couldn’t stop.
How does anyone ever know enough to appreciate each magic moment? Do we need to? Last week, my daughter crawled into my bed (She did this week too, but made no delicacies around describing to EVERYONE how my cold makes me snore like a PIG. Yes, she did a full reenactment of the apparently gruesome scene. To which I obviously replied, “Well, stay in your own bed.”) and cozied up into me. She took her fat little hand and tucked inside mine. The softness of youth melted me and I savored the moment as just that- A Moment. She will grow. Her hand will begin to look like mine and mine like my mothers and hers like…..um, we should just stop there. The POINT is…..it was something small and insignificant, but at the same time mighty and wonderful. I cried. Look I’m a girl. Boys spit and belch. Girls bitch and cry. Why do you think they say SPICE? There are A LOT of SPICES! It’s not just cinnamon!
And then my day began to drift down a darker path. The next day didn’t seem as bright either. Quickly I went from being this ever thankful proud happy person to shouldering a headache and whining about Garmin buttons popping off OVER PRICED PIECES OF SHIT. And yes I had a great run today so don’t try to blame the running.
Wow! 911 on that perspective please. At the end of it, after more tears, I realize I’m human. I’m learning. I will always be growing. And you never know what tomorrow brings and you simply cannot change the past no matter how much you yell and scream about it and wishing won’t work if you don’t try.
Try to enjoy your moments- each and every one of them.