In 2008, I easily ran a 37:00 in a local 10K. I had not done track. I had not done organized anything. I ran my runs pushing a jogging stroller. Naturally, I assumed that with “focus” I would never see 37:00 again. WELL BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASSUME! As when I assume, I make a donkey with a cold out of me! ASSU- Me.
Focus? Oh yeah- I can focus! I can focus myself right into the death march grave. However, the rock only had to fall on my head six or ten times before I learned my lesson. I am no longer the runner I once was. Why? Well, I’m not trying to destroy anything. I’m not out for pay backs or proof. I’m a girl on the run. I love running. The more that I accept that fact- and let go- the more I continue to grow.
It isn’t easy to separate life from running. It isn’t easy to separate your life from passion. What is life without passion? Pain, bliss, fear, love, anger, acceptance, humility, pride….they run hand in hand passing a baton. I need them all to move forward. The difference is I’m no longer hiding from them or stuffing them down or denying their existence. But that does not mean that I strap on running shoes to beat the shit out of my body daily. I do that when it matters.
Today mattered to me- because that 37:00 10K has been a thorn in my side for a long time. Notice that there is no forgiveness in that list up there. I gotta work on that one. Onward. Unfortunately, it’s incredibly hard to find 10Ks anymore. Plenty of 5k’s and Halfs and Marathons, but the 10K has turned out to be just what she was always suspected to be the ugly duckling. The one who did not grow into SWAN LAKE!
“Just think of it as two 5K’s,” Doug says to me.
Grrrrrrrrrrreat. Think of it as two root canals. Thanks Superman. I joke. I love the 5K pain. Maybe I like root canals? It wouldn’t surprise me. CC and Brizzle decided to run their single 5K down south in Ventura along the ocean in as part of the Seaside Half Marathon. Annnnnnnnd they happened to have a 10K. I decided to toe the line.
Honestly, I felt very low on motivation for this race. Jogging out the start as warm up, the race curved along a bike path and bounced on skinny pop up hills that were flushed with strong sea breezes. Toeing the starting line didn’t raise my adrenaline either as my competitors all stood there strapped into iPods with bulky feet and casual grins. NO I’m not being a Running Snob! I’m just saying Spandex and Skinny Shoes says A LOT! This is EXACTLY why I won’t wear BUNS unless I am prepared to BRING IT!
Like the snob I’m not, I take front and center and toe the start line right out front. Hee Hee. The gun goes off and the lead is mine. I head off along the bike path and immediately find myself swimming through the half marathoners.
You get the idea. Luckily I had some bike power or else I truly think I would have run a minute slower. The race needs a lead biker to clear room. It is a very tight bike path with no where to run. My bike power blasted past one lady telling her to move right and I watched her give a very big dramatic two armed fist punch at him. I cruised by and screamed a very passionate, “THANK YOU!”
Can you feel the ZEN? OH the growth! It’s amazing! I’m my own personal CHIA PET!
Untrusting as I am, I wore my GPS. Spot on. Thank Halo! My first three miles went very well. I got a little dreamy. Then mile 4 wrapped her claws into my side and the Bitch has claws! I knew I was slowing through the little popping blister hills and I felt a tad defeated for a second before I realized- this is business and 37:00 just has to die. My last mile was a solid push with heavy breathing and coffee burning my insides. Note to self.
I crossed the line in 36:45 and walked right off and into some shady grass to die. I would really love to say right now that I could have gone faster, but no fucking way. That was it. 37 died and that’s that. I won my first OUTRIGHT race. Not a male to be seen.
CC ran a nice little PR in her 5K and Brizzle took 2 seconds off his tick tick to finally smooch 18:58! Kiss Kiss!