It’s hard to talk to a child who never stops talking. Please stop talking until your toast is toasted.
OK! How many minutes?
One two three….sixty, ONE MINUTE. One two three….sixty, TWO MINUTES…….FIVE MINUTES! DING! IT’s Done! I did it!
The morning routine often leaves me banging my head against a wall repeatedly encouraging breakfast chewing, teeth brushing, sunscreen smearing, dog harnessing, backpack retrieving and for God Sake’s put your mf shoes on your feet!
Why are you so mad? I’m gonna do it.
My favorite ad slogan of all time, JUST DO IT! #NOW!
It’s also hard not to listen to a child who talks all the time. Often because you’re trapped in a car or the bathroom with the yammering joy of chattering little teeth. When I slow down, the banter that comes out of my child’s mouth could be medicinal. All the world should hope to be as optimistic, enthusiastic, and loving as a child. Were we all this way? I don’t think so. What makes a human so inherently happy…..and social….and vocal….all the time?
Have a great day. I WILL!
(To the man in drag) I love your house and your hair!
You’re the best mommy ever, and I’m the best boy ever!
I’m so cute.
I absolutely LOVE this salad! It’s the best salad ever! I just don’t like….(moves every single piece of salad to the opposite side of the plate.)
OH! A corvette! That’s a pinto. It’s LOOKS so cool! It’s cool! Rrrrrrrrrrrrrooooom.
I love candy. I have a lot. Do you want some? No thank you. Grrrrreeat, I’ll eat your share.
Kick the ball to me! I’m a fat rapper! (Totally don’t get that one.)
I like to run or ride to get my high, my kid just wakes up high. So, I’m listening a lot more to all the little dribbles purging from his mouth. There must be wisdom there and if not, it will at least make you laugh.
*photo by Elizabeth Peace