Dinner is simmering on the stove and she places the vacuum back in the cupboard. She pauses to say, “Sit.” Two children and a dog drop. The children quietly pencil over their homework while the dog politely tilts his head adorably.
“I love you Mommy,” the children say in perfect unison.
“I love you too my darlings.”
She dusts her way down the hallway and glances at her reflection in the mirror. Her hair is soft, her eyes are bright, and her ass is high and tight. The house is clean, the kids are brilliant, the dog is behaved, the taxes are paid, the groceries are stocked and she brought her own bags, the hedges are hedged and the phone is ringing.
It’s her BFF.
“I just wanted to call you and tell you that you are awesome! Thank you for the organic vegetables from your garden and for volunteering for absolutely everything forever and ever.”
“Oh you’re welcome. You are awesome too!” She hangs up the phone and wonders if she would have been an even better friend if she had told her BFF that the last time she got her eye brows done one was slightly higher than the other. She decides she’ll just mention that to her second BFF instead. Maybe she can tell her.
While setting the table, her husband, Mario Andretti, comes home.
“How is everything dear?” Mario asks.
“It’s wonderful! Everything is UNDER CONTROL!” She positively beams.
“If everything seems under control, you’re just not going fast enough-” Mario Andretti