Archive for the ‘Inspired by youth’ Category
Please Help Lachlan raise money for Peabody Charter School by sponsoring him. The average kindergartener runs 20 laps. Lachlan estimates he will run 1,000. Please click the link below to make an online donation OR contact his mom (uh, me).
“Maybe someone farted,” she says. I think about this.
“Well,” I sigh, “If your farts smell like coffee, than I’d like to marry you. Now that I could live with.”
Let’s butt face it, farts happen…..and they happen a lot in Pilates. All the tensing and tightening and compressing and flexing- fluffs sneak out usually with a good squeak. It’s common place, but nobody likes it when their tush does the push. So like mature adults we inhale and exhale the other way and pretend that our ears did not hear the eulogy of RIP. I mean we are runners for goodness sake! Who has not farted in a run? Who has not jet powered down a finishing stretch pop-popping with every foot flop? Who has not stood there in the open air dripping in sweat congratulating other runners while completely letting hopefully silent power packs slide? And if…if…Halo forbid one should be audible, we flick our eyes away and we all pretend….we all pretend that NO- NOT I, No, No, I did not fart.
My children are young. I can still walk around half dressed and pick underwear out of my butt and pee with the bathroom door open. Innocence fears no trauma here as privacy is for shame. We got no shame. God bless innocence. It won’t last much longer. So innocent they are that I can rip a fart while brushing their teeth and they don’t even flinch. Like it never happened. Oh- OK- every once in a while sweet baby girl will smirk at me and notify my head that my rump just fluffed, but usually we just keep attacking those sugar bugs.
Even when they are at my mercy trapped in the mini van- OR vice versa!- no one figures it out. ”OH man!” my son will tout, “Did someone fart?”
“Not me,” I snicker and push the window buttons to ease the pain.
Later the smell magically reoccurs in the house.
“OH man,” my son’s confusion grows, “I smell that again? Isla did you fart?”
“Not me,” she says and bounces around on one foot, “Not me.”
No body asks me so I just keep folding up laundry. ”Time for shower kids.”
Well, wonders never cease….in the mist of the mint and tea tree bubbles….the smell creeps into the shower! OF ALL PLACES!!!!
“OH man!” my son is dumb founded, “WHY IS THAT SMELL GOING EVERYWHERE WE GO!!!”
Tears! Tears of laughter! I cry as I type this now…and….fart…it is so funny! God bless the innocent. One day….one day….they won’t forgive me.
Unfortunately, no, it was not I that dropped a coffee fart in class this morning. If that’s your brand, then you are also blessed. God bless those that coffee fluff. Can anyone drop Krispy Kreme bombs? I’d bounce on your tummy in anticipation.